Greetings, minions of inferior worth,

I have spent the last several days basking in the glorious rays of the Floridian sun.  One of my faithful minions has a condo there, which he dutifully agreed to share with me after I promised to spare him an evening of furious dancing.  I am in discussions to bring my furious dancing courses to all of your homes via DVDs.  I am told many have experienced weight loss, strengthening, and toning through my program.  My thought is that if money can be made from "Yoga Booty Ballet," then surely the masses will jump without missing a beat to "Furious Dancing."  I notice that all of these workout DVDs offer several promotional and warning messages prior to the workouts.  I have considered several messages, and here are some... "All those who purchase 'Furious Dancing' understand that a portion of this workout includes providing donuts with little sprinkles to one Mac the Great & Mighty Sloth.  They also agree to support all plots, plans, and schemes for World Domination created by one Mac the Great & Mighty Sloth.  In addition, they consent to sending regular donations of Jones Soda to one Mac the Great & Mighty Sloth.  Participants understand that taking part in a furious dancing course may result in injury up to and including death.  Furious dancing should be used responsibly and reasonably.  Furious dancing is no way affiliated with 'Dance Dance Revolution.'  Any insinuation of such a relationship is strictly prohibited.  Mac the Great & Mighty Sloth reserves the right to come to your home at any time and revoke your furious dancing license.  Your DVD will promptly be removed from your home and your head will serve as a practice forum for Mac's personal furious dancing pleasure.  Should you decide to return this DVD for any reason, recognize that a penalty fee of $1 billion will be charged to your credit card immediately.  Should your credit card not have such a limit, understand that Guido, bodyguard for Mac the Great & Mighty Sloth, will appear at your door without notice and will repossess all of your worldly goods up to and including pets, small children, and baked goods."

Subtle, no?